i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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