Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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