end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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