Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize