Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
