Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
