you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
