i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
