i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
