have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
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