i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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