I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
