A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
