Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
