it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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