I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
