have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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