so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize