Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize