What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
