I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We need to rekindle our bromance
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
