i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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