How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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