if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
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after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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