It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
