I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
