She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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