I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
