im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
