Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize