watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
