I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
