I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
