Whod you bang
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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