You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
