I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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