I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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