We won't sleep together?
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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