Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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