The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
