I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
"it" just moved
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
