It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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