STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
