I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I still have a little drunk in my system
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
