From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
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What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
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It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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