Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
