they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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