Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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