Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
