I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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