it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
