this beer tastes like vomit already
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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