So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
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All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
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We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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