Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
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he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
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No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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