so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
