When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
