I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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