I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
